Horrible Candidate to Find Kush

On Friday night, I hopped in a quick shower after my usual run to pretty myself for the night ahead. Every year, each frat will throw a party on the first Friday night following recruitment to celebrate all the new greek chicks. Girls hop from party to party, and the freshmen gain a feel for the different houses.

Personally, I already know which houses I do and do not like, so I planned on making a few stops to say hello to friends I know/like in certain houses. 

Finishing my simple makeup (I am truly lucky that the sun and salt water keep my face smooth), I laced up my chestnut, wedge booties and threw on a black skirt, a high-neck crop top, and an open, long sweater. 

"I would do you," Jordan told me after I asked her how I looked. 

"Yay! I'll text you guys! Let's meet up!" I told her and my other two female roommates, Bitta and Rachel. I left home early in the night to pre game at our brother fraternity's 'senior house.' This house is by far the coolest house in town: a wood frame that has seen many years of different faces, a long driveway to build excitement, and an enormous cliffside backyard rumbling with bass and hopping feet. 

I entered with a smile, greeting the guys guarding the front gate. 

While looking for a friendly face, Mark (my freshman) asked me if I was drinking.

"I mean I haven't yet, but yes," I replied politely.

"Let me get you something! Jungle juice?"

"Sure," I smiled, watching him get my drink from the older guy at the 'bar.'

I mingled with him and two other pledges for a bit, then they asked if I wanted to join them down on the patio. While following them from the house, one of my good friends in my sorority called over to me. Taking this as my chance to avoid hooking up with Mark again, I stuck near Taylor.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about last night," she laughed sheepishly, feeling embarrassed for something I didn't think she should be worried about, "Thank you."

"Please don't worry about it. I was so happy to help to help you out," I assured her, "I like to help people, its my pleasure."

A few of the other girls in our house came up to Taylor and I, and eventually one of them pulled Taylor away to discuss something (relatively) serious. After she left, I met a really cute black guy named Tyler while trying to make my way back to the bar. Once he saw that I was struggling to push through people, he carved a path for me and refilled my jungle juice (which was pretty strong...). Thanking him, I made my way back over to some guy friends that just pledged. After talking to them for a while, I decided to make my way to the dance floor, deep in the backyard.

Dancing with some girls in my sorority, Rachel and Bitta appear right behind me, "Lulu!!" they both exclaimed. Exchanging hugs, the three of us danced with Sydney, a gorgeous freshman in my pledge class. 

Eventually, I wanted to check out some of the other parties nearby, and found Taylor, who also wanted to go. Unfortunately, the two that we went to were super lame. Watching girls with smiles plastered on their faces dancing unrestrictedly, I realized that I was tipsy, but not drunk enough to enjoy their parties (which I do not mind). I returned to the original house that I was at, and found Bitta and Rachel again. 

The three of us decided to check out one of the frat parties that was at the house's chapter house instead of a senior house. We trekked out there, hit the dance floor, and almost immediately, a guy in a button-up and Sperry's with slick hair (so not my type) approached me. We exchanged names (I think his was Paul, but I wasn't interested so I didn't commit it to memory), and he shortly asked me to dance. 

I love to dance. But, I do not love that, to a guy, dancing usually means grinding with the expectation of things going further. Why can't I just dance without having some dude dry-hump my butt?

Thankfully, the DJ stopped playing music as that song ended, and Bitta found a good guy friend of hers. He wanted to introduce her to his girlfriend upstairs, and I followed. Turning to Paul, I said, "You can come if you want!"

He was visibly bummed, but made it a point to place a hand on my waist as he caboosed our five-person chain. Upstairs, we talked some more, and I could tell that he was very invested in hooking up with me. The more I looked at him, the more uninterested I became, because I did not connect with him at all. 

Eventually, after admitting that I was super tired, he leaned in closer.

"I don't know if this is out there, but I have some blow. I was just about to go bump in my room if you would like to join me."

Laughing, I let him know that I have never done coke. He felt really bad for springing that question on me, and although I didn't care, it was weird to have someone offer me coke for the first time. Thankfully, one of my really close guy-friends poked into the room and stole my attention from Paul. Eventually, Paul left, and Jerry left shortly after. 

My friends and I called it a night, making our way home. 

Saturday and Sunday were both extremely relaxing, as I didn't go out on Saturday night. Sunday morning we had surf team tryouts early in the morning, and we selected the new members. 

Catching up with a friend that I stopped hanging out with last year, I realized that I should at least try to give her another chance. I found out that she broke up with her boyfriend over summer, and that she kind of parties now. Total game changer... but not unexpected. She does like to be the center of attention, so I guess it makes sense. 

"I saw Jake at a party the other day!" By Jake, she was referring to my high school ex who just moved up here. 

"Oh yeah, I went over to his place on Friday," I shared with her. He had texted me about a week ago, and it just so happened that a friend of mine really needed some weed (you would think that people know I am a horrible candidate to find kush). However, I realized that I could ask Jake.

Laughing awkwardly, "He said that you bought some nug from him--"

I interrupted her, laughing hysterically, "Oh my gosh... I was actually buying for a friend." Apparently, he didn't buy my reasoning for coming over, as even she thought that it was for me. I gave her the full story: how after a bit of small talk, Jake took a giant bong load right in front of me, then passed it over. I rejected it, reminding him that I still don't smoke. The whole situation was awkward and unprecedented to say the least. But, at least, nothing could be more weird between us. I'm thinking about asking him to get lunch sometime, so it could make for great conversation. 

Once tryouts were over, I went home and did homework for a few hours. Kevin and I had been texting on and off since Saturday afternoon, although we both agree that its boring and we are both bad at it. At least I know that he misses me! After talking to Clara today after our biology class, I realized that I need to be less inhibited, and call him just to talk for a few minutes every few days. I am scared of being the clingy one, but texting really is lame and I don't fully remember what his voice sounds like.

I was thinking about what it is like to not see someone for a long time. Sometimes, I'll look at a picture of him and it becomes easier to access my memories, but it is really challenging to remember what his voice sounds like coming from him. When I think of it, I hear him speaking through my voice, like I'm telling a friend all about a date Kevin and I had the night before. And if I feel like this, it is pretty probable that he feels exactly the same, so maybe it is time to ring him up.