I'm going to start this off with this: It's my birthday!!!!! Yay for me!
I'm all settled into my apartment now... That doesn't mean I am totally unpacked but, hey, nobody is perfect.
One of my roommates picked me up from the train station on Saturday night. "Hiii!!" we both exclaimed. Shortly after Jordan and I arrived, we biked and skated to dinner with another one of our roommates, Garrison. Catching up on our respective summers, the three of us spoke over teriyaki chicken and stir fry.
Heading home, I stopped at some of my girlfriends' place. All four of them, another girl, and I caught up for over an hour. Their summer stories were awesome to listen to, and I didn't realize how much I truly missed them.
It turned out that one of the girls from our dorms last year was having a birthday party nearby so us girls and two of our guy-friends checked it out. The party was a typical college scene, red solo cups in every line of vision and too many plastered people. All in all, I had fun catching up with friends from our dorm last year, and didn't get very drunk at all.
The funniest thing I had to deal with throughout the night were the comments like, "Wow Lu, you look so good! What have you been doing?" K, I get it, I was in bad shape and now I'm not but I'm still the same old girl!!
Super drunk, one of the guys we came with, Nate, told me, "Lu, seriously, you look so good. Like, you weren't fat before, but you're in such great shape now." To be honest, I was definitely enjoying a bit of the attention, but come on, don't be tossing the f-word around so casually...
At one point in the night, a girl from my hall last year approached me, "Hi! Oh my gosh, are you rushing??"
Having been through recruitment once already (it didn't work out last year), I was hesitant to rush again this fall, but am giving it a shot. I told her that I was, and swearing me to secrecy, she informed me that a bunch of girls in her house were saying great things about me when my name came up in the list of girls signed up. Sweet! That reassured me a ton about branching out of my comfort zone.
Eventually, I was over the party and found Maya, one of the girls living at the house I was at earlier. I had left some things there, and let her know that I was walking back if she was ready to leave. "I'm actually going to stay for a little bit, but Clara walked back alone. I haven't heard back from her yet, so please let me know whether or not she is home when you get there!"
Not very intoxicated, I ventured to their house without any friends. This was the first time I walked back alone at night, and it was actually kind of scary. I could not imagine feeling safe if I were to stumble through that stretch without someone.
I let myself into their home to find Clara munching on some peanut butter (college staple, for sure). So glad that she was safe, we texted Maya to affirm that we were both alright. Soon, Maya, Hannah, and Monica all came. Monica went to sleep, and the rest of us sautéed cabbage for a post-party midnight snack. Just because I want a drunchy, does not mean I am down to fall back out of shape...
Getting sleepy, I skated back to my place, less than a block away.
On Sunday, I took a much needed run, exploring some of the local trails. Then, since I only had about five Kind Bars left (I am a growing girl, I cannot live off of those things), Garrison and I shopped at Costco and Albertson's. Spending over two hundred dollars on groceries, I finally understand that living is very expensive (especially when my staples are basically only fruit and veggies). Looks like I am going to be forced to getting as much out of that ten pound bag of rice (it was about five dollars and will last me months) as possible...
That afternoon and evening were very mellow, so I ended up getting ahead on a few physics assignments (they were only math review; I'm not too geeky...).
This morning, I woke up to really bad family drama between my mom and sister. In the end, I am thankful for it, because the repercussions of their fallout address some critical issues. But, the first few hours of my birthday were totally shitty. My aunt (we are insanely close), dad, and grandparents all cheered me up while talking on the phone, and I actively decided to have a good day.
My aunt told me, "Do two things that you love today, no matter what."
There was a short recruitment meeting mid-morning, so after that I went for another five mile run to ease some of the stress and embrace a good runner's high. Coming home an hour before our short day of recruitment began this evening, I quickly took a shower and dressed.
The few 'parties' I had tonight went pretty well! I am feeling very open minded and comfortable with the process, so hopefully everything works out.
Once those were done, I began to skate home, running into two of my best surf friends.
"Lu!!!" I heard from across the street.
"Oh my gosh, Canon! Axel!" I exclaimed.
They both wished me a happy birthday, and we caught up on our summers. After talking to them for a while, I received a call from Kevin. Excusing myself from their table, Kevin and I spoke for a few minutes as I walked towards home. Helplessly grinning at the sound of his voice, I perked up at his vibrancy. It kind of sucks to not be able to see him, but hopefully we can talk often enough to keep our relationship relevant between visits.
Once I returned to our apartment, Jordan and I gossiped about rush for a while. She's actually trying to sleep right now, and I am keeping the lights on... Jordan would never tell me to turn off the lights, but I think she could be drowning under her comforter. Oops... lol.
I guess that's what having a roommate is for.
Since I still can... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. TURN UP. jk I'm obviously super boring.
About Me
- Lu
- California, United States
- Hi! You can call me Lu. This is a non-fictional blog about my life, because I need to start journaling. I hail from Southern California and am now a second year at a University of California school, studying biology. I tend to do clumsy, embarrassing things, but I at least have a ton of fun while I'm at it. This is basically my diary, so if you're reading, please respect it. :)
Monday, September 29, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Ready
My last few days at home were very relaxing and enjoyable. Even though I'll miss it, I do feel ready to hit the books (if I have to), reconnect with friends, and embrace new experiences.
On Thursday, Kevin and I met up at the beach for a quick surf. The waves weren't very good, but the water was incredibly refreshing. We chatted for a while, and decided to hang out later that night.
Once I got home that morning, I chose to visit a few of my favorite high school teachers. Sneaking onto campus (like I used to regularly) in order to bypass the office, a group of boys catcalled at me. Clearly I did not blend in like I would have preferred. Two years ago, I may have gladly humored their pickup lines, but I was not having any of it as a college student. I smiled, said hello, then put my head down and booked it to my favorite teacher's room.
It was a few minutes before lunch when I walked into Mr. H's classroom. I recognized a few of the kids in that period of Marine Ecology, a senior-only science class. Quickly concluding his lecture, he told his students, "Ok, you can take out your phones or talk until lunch begins."
Walking over to me, he gave me a hug and we caught up on our respective summers and the last year of school. At a lull in our conversation, he asked me what my plans were in the spring. YES, HE WANTS ME TO BE A GROUP LEADER... MEXICO, HERE I COME!! Playing it cool to the best of my ability (not very cool at all), I responded, "Well I have school obviously, but could manage to take a week off..."
My cheeks puffed up, and I, helplessly, began to show my teeth. There was no way I could hold in my excitement any longer once he told me that he would love to see me as a group leader for the seniors on this year's trip. I am not sure how obvious it is, but that trip was one of my absolute greatest life experiences thus far. To go back is one thing, but my teacher's desire to bring me back is just plain awesome.
I visited a few other teachers, and chatted with a few friends that still go to school there. There are a handful of seniors that I still keep in touch with, and it is nice to hear about their pending college decisions and respective final years. One of my absolute best friends, Soh, still goes to school there, so I snuck into the back of his calculus class. Thankfully, when I took that class, our teacher loved me, so my distraction was gladly welcomed. My front corner seat (yes, it will obviously always be mine) was open, so once I was greeted, I parked it and attempted to understand the day's lesson. Thankfully, it was something relatively easy so I didn't look like an idiot when Mr. D asked me little tidbits. He even remembered, "Lu, you were really good at this stuff." Plus one for me, muwaha!
Soh and I started mouthing words to each other behind Mr. D's back (oh, high school) about meeting up sometime that night to catch up. He had been super busy with classes, college apps, and homecoming preparations, so we haven't seen each other much since their school year started a month ago.
Kevin wasn't able to hang out after all, so my evening was relatively free. I texted Soh, knowing that he was busy with a rehearsal for the homecoming football game's halftime show. I received a call back within a few minutes.
"Lu, what are you doing right now? I know that you're a cool college kid now, but you should bring me water to the field... and we can drive around after," he started chuckling. Our favorite pastime has always been to drive around talking and listening to music. I am really thankful for our friendship, because it is one of those where we don't need to be doing anything in order to have fun.
Once he was done helping with logistics for their upcoming show, we hopped in his car.
"So, how has the campaign for Homecoming King been going?" I winked over at him.
"Oh my," laughing contagiously, "Shut up, Lu! You know that I don't want to win!" My favorite quality of Soh's is his humble disregard for how much everyone truly enjoys him. Not only does he have a great sense of humor, he is also a great leader and an indiscriminately caring person.
After hearing about his first few weeks of school, he finally asked me, "Soooo, any boys?" with a dramatic wink and a smile. We always gossip about our crushes, dates, etc., so this was normal except for the fact that my answer wasn't the usual, "no."
I giggled, inciting his excited response. "Whaaaaat?! Who is he? Did you 'empower' yourself?"
"Ok, I seriously hate you for that," despite his blatant reference to blow jobs, I obviously still told him everything, taking breaks along the way for him to heckle me.
"Jokes aside, I'm really happy that you two like each other. I hate the cliche, but if it is meant to be, things will work out."
We hung out for a bit longer, and decided that we would meet up again before I left for school.
The next day, Friday, Kevin made sure that his entire day was free. Asking what I wanted to do, I resolved that we could explore one of our local beaches. There are a small beach and a cave that you can climb to, hidden from the main beach. Not many people go because it is a bit of a mission, so we had the area to ourselves the entire day. From what it seemed, the both of us were somewhat quieter than normal, probably due to our imminent goodbye. I was still having a great time exploring the rocks with him though.
"It is so peaceful here," he broke a silence as we were twenty feet above the crashing waves.
"It feels like another world up here," I agreed.
We quietly admired the view for a few minutes more, then walked back over to our things. We had placed them on some rocks while the tide was high, but it had receded quite a bit while we were gone, allowing us to lay out our towels on the warm sand.
Brushing a few strands of hair out of my face, he kissed my forehead. Looking into my eyes, I perceived a different manner of passion then I had before. Maybe I had been too nervous to notice, but his kiss felt incredibly genuine and familiar, like one between two lovers.
After I had gone down on him for a while, we both laughed in frustration because, in that moment, we weren't 'prepared' to go all the way. Salt water lapping the shore of our deserted beach, immaculate cliff faces eclipsing us from the rest of the world, a gentle sea breeze tickling our natural bodies: it was perfection.
We walked down to the tideline to cool off. Less than five minutes later, Kevin hugged me from behind, spun me around, and led me to our towels. Laying me down onto my back, he gave me the best orgasm of my life. Occasionally, I would move my eyes from the birds flying overhead to meet his, and he seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself. And, boy, does this man have talent. He should lead a workshop.
Once I was done enjoying myself (I definitely milked it for a while), I flipped him over for some unfinished business.
"Wow. Best BJ of my life," he peered up at me, shifting his forearms underneath himself.
Now, I joke about my talent regularly, but it is another thing to receive such great reviews.
The two of us jumped in the water shortly thereafter. I absolutely love skinny dipping in the ocean; the cool waves' movement against naked skin is incredible. Cleansing, yet exhilarating, it is spiritually and physically rejuvenating.
After meandering the beach and tide pools, Kevin and I packed up our things. Both extremely hungry, we decided to prepare dinner at his house. The rest of our night was mellow: watching t.v. and laying on the couch together. Being with him was comfortable.
Eventually, we were both tired and I decided to excuse myself. Walking me out to my car, he wrapped his arms around me, completely enveloping me in something I already missed. Gentle kisses met my forehead, then our eyes met.
"Lu, you're a really cool girl. I have had a lot of fun these past few weeks hanging out with you. Our timing isn't the greatest, but I'll be visiting soon and we'll keep talking." I was at a loss for words, nervousness, sadness, and happiness all pulsing through my veins. To be honest, I don't have a clue about how I responded. "And, if all goes as planned I'll be moving up there after winter break, so we can see where things go when the time comes."
I let him know how much fun I had been having with him, and a few other insights into my feelings, but nothing majorly revealing.
We exchanged our bittersweet goodnight.
Thankfully, I had missed a call from Soh. He was out and about, so we met up.
"How was the show?" I asked him when I got into his car. Chatting about that for a short time, he transitioned the conversation to me.
"So, what did you do today?" clearly awaiting a full recap.
I shared everything, then he delved deeper, "How do you feel?"
"It sucks," I was brutally honest. His silence invited me to go on with my thoughts, so I word-vomitted for about ten minutes, with occasional reassurances bouncing back.
Eventually, my mood bettered, simply from Soh's company. His playfully deprecating and innocently crude jokes also ameliorated our car ride. As we were hysterically laughing about something, a tweet sung from my phone, and Kevin's name flashed on my screen.
"Did Kevin just text you?!" Soh hadn't seen who was contacting me.
"Stop the car!" I exclaimed back. We were driving along an empty side street.
Parking, he demanded I show him my phone. Basically reiterating what he had hinted to me an hour earlier, all of those emotions flooded back. Even Soh's insistence that Kevin's text was "great," did not allow those feelings to subside.
Embracing me, he offered me his shoulder. In that instance, I could not imagine another person who I would rather be leaning on.
"Cry it out, Lu," he rubbed my back.
"Thank you, Soh. I love you so much."
"I love you too," he responded.
Once I collected myself and wiped away a few tears, I expressed my thankfulness for our friendship. He is truly an impeccable friend. Dropping me off at my car, we exchanged a "see you later," understanding that distance would do us no harm.
Waking up Saturday morning, I felt much better than the night prior. Since my dad has been out of town the past week and my sister had school, my mom and I grabbed lunch next to the train station. She insisted upon helping me get my things onto the train, and kissed me goodbye. Climbing the stairs, I situated myself at a nice window seat. Although bittersweet, while swaying along the tracks, I gained some peace. I grasped that I wasn't sad about my situation with Kevin (he told me that he is into me for crying out loud), rather, it was the fact that we are forced to put things on hold. Redirecting my mental focus, I am beginning to move my thoughts to the many fun experiences waiting for me this year. Bring it!
On Thursday, Kevin and I met up at the beach for a quick surf. The waves weren't very good, but the water was incredibly refreshing. We chatted for a while, and decided to hang out later that night.
Once I got home that morning, I chose to visit a few of my favorite high school teachers. Sneaking onto campus (like I used to regularly) in order to bypass the office, a group of boys catcalled at me. Clearly I did not blend in like I would have preferred. Two years ago, I may have gladly humored their pickup lines, but I was not having any of it as a college student. I smiled, said hello, then put my head down and booked it to my favorite teacher's room.
It was a few minutes before lunch when I walked into Mr. H's classroom. I recognized a few of the kids in that period of Marine Ecology, a senior-only science class. Quickly concluding his lecture, he told his students, "Ok, you can take out your phones or talk until lunch begins."
Walking over to me, he gave me a hug and we caught up on our respective summers and the last year of school. At a lull in our conversation, he asked me what my plans were in the spring. YES, HE WANTS ME TO BE A GROUP LEADER... MEXICO, HERE I COME!! Playing it cool to the best of my ability (not very cool at all), I responded, "Well I have school obviously, but could manage to take a week off..."
My cheeks puffed up, and I, helplessly, began to show my teeth. There was no way I could hold in my excitement any longer once he told me that he would love to see me as a group leader for the seniors on this year's trip. I am not sure how obvious it is, but that trip was one of my absolute greatest life experiences thus far. To go back is one thing, but my teacher's desire to bring me back is just plain awesome.
I visited a few other teachers, and chatted with a few friends that still go to school there. There are a handful of seniors that I still keep in touch with, and it is nice to hear about their pending college decisions and respective final years. One of my absolute best friends, Soh, still goes to school there, so I snuck into the back of his calculus class. Thankfully, when I took that class, our teacher loved me, so my distraction was gladly welcomed. My front corner seat (yes, it will obviously always be mine) was open, so once I was greeted, I parked it and attempted to understand the day's lesson. Thankfully, it was something relatively easy so I didn't look like an idiot when Mr. D asked me little tidbits. He even remembered, "Lu, you were really good at this stuff." Plus one for me, muwaha!
Soh and I started mouthing words to each other behind Mr. D's back (oh, high school) about meeting up sometime that night to catch up. He had been super busy with classes, college apps, and homecoming preparations, so we haven't seen each other much since their school year started a month ago.
Kevin wasn't able to hang out after all, so my evening was relatively free. I texted Soh, knowing that he was busy with a rehearsal for the homecoming football game's halftime show. I received a call back within a few minutes.
"Lu, what are you doing right now? I know that you're a cool college kid now, but you should bring me water to the field... and we can drive around after," he started chuckling. Our favorite pastime has always been to drive around talking and listening to music. I am really thankful for our friendship, because it is one of those where we don't need to be doing anything in order to have fun.
Once he was done helping with logistics for their upcoming show, we hopped in his car.
"So, how has the campaign for Homecoming King been going?" I winked over at him.
"Oh my," laughing contagiously, "Shut up, Lu! You know that I don't want to win!" My favorite quality of Soh's is his humble disregard for how much everyone truly enjoys him. Not only does he have a great sense of humor, he is also a great leader and an indiscriminately caring person.
After hearing about his first few weeks of school, he finally asked me, "Soooo, any boys?" with a dramatic wink and a smile. We always gossip about our crushes, dates, etc., so this was normal except for the fact that my answer wasn't the usual, "no."
I giggled, inciting his excited response. "Whaaaaat?! Who is he? Did you 'empower' yourself?"
"Ok, I seriously hate you for that," despite his blatant reference to blow jobs, I obviously still told him everything, taking breaks along the way for him to heckle me.
"Jokes aside, I'm really happy that you two like each other. I hate the cliche, but if it is meant to be, things will work out."
We hung out for a bit longer, and decided that we would meet up again before I left for school.
The next day, Friday, Kevin made sure that his entire day was free. Asking what I wanted to do, I resolved that we could explore one of our local beaches. There are a small beach and a cave that you can climb to, hidden from the main beach. Not many people go because it is a bit of a mission, so we had the area to ourselves the entire day. From what it seemed, the both of us were somewhat quieter than normal, probably due to our imminent goodbye. I was still having a great time exploring the rocks with him though.
"It is so peaceful here," he broke a silence as we were twenty feet above the crashing waves.
"It feels like another world up here," I agreed.
We quietly admired the view for a few minutes more, then walked back over to our things. We had placed them on some rocks while the tide was high, but it had receded quite a bit while we were gone, allowing us to lay out our towels on the warm sand.
Brushing a few strands of hair out of my face, he kissed my forehead. Looking into my eyes, I perceived a different manner of passion then I had before. Maybe I had been too nervous to notice, but his kiss felt incredibly genuine and familiar, like one between two lovers.
After I had gone down on him for a while, we both laughed in frustration because, in that moment, we weren't 'prepared' to go all the way. Salt water lapping the shore of our deserted beach, immaculate cliff faces eclipsing us from the rest of the world, a gentle sea breeze tickling our natural bodies: it was perfection.
We walked down to the tideline to cool off. Less than five minutes later, Kevin hugged me from behind, spun me around, and led me to our towels. Laying me down onto my back, he gave me the best orgasm of my life. Occasionally, I would move my eyes from the birds flying overhead to meet his, and he seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself. And, boy, does this man have talent. He should lead a workshop.
Once I was done enjoying myself (I definitely milked it for a while), I flipped him over for some unfinished business.
"Wow. Best BJ of my life," he peered up at me, shifting his forearms underneath himself.
Now, I joke about my talent regularly, but it is another thing to receive such great reviews.
The two of us jumped in the water shortly thereafter. I absolutely love skinny dipping in the ocean; the cool waves' movement against naked skin is incredible. Cleansing, yet exhilarating, it is spiritually and physically rejuvenating.
After meandering the beach and tide pools, Kevin and I packed up our things. Both extremely hungry, we decided to prepare dinner at his house. The rest of our night was mellow: watching t.v. and laying on the couch together. Being with him was comfortable.
Eventually, we were both tired and I decided to excuse myself. Walking me out to my car, he wrapped his arms around me, completely enveloping me in something I already missed. Gentle kisses met my forehead, then our eyes met.
"Lu, you're a really cool girl. I have had a lot of fun these past few weeks hanging out with you. Our timing isn't the greatest, but I'll be visiting soon and we'll keep talking." I was at a loss for words, nervousness, sadness, and happiness all pulsing through my veins. To be honest, I don't have a clue about how I responded. "And, if all goes as planned I'll be moving up there after winter break, so we can see where things go when the time comes."
I let him know how much fun I had been having with him, and a few other insights into my feelings, but nothing majorly revealing.
We exchanged our bittersweet goodnight.
Thankfully, I had missed a call from Soh. He was out and about, so we met up.
"How was the show?" I asked him when I got into his car. Chatting about that for a short time, he transitioned the conversation to me.
"So, what did you do today?" clearly awaiting a full recap.
I shared everything, then he delved deeper, "How do you feel?"
"It sucks," I was brutally honest. His silence invited me to go on with my thoughts, so I word-vomitted for about ten minutes, with occasional reassurances bouncing back.
Eventually, my mood bettered, simply from Soh's company. His playfully deprecating and innocently crude jokes also ameliorated our car ride. As we were hysterically laughing about something, a tweet sung from my phone, and Kevin's name flashed on my screen.
"Did Kevin just text you?!" Soh hadn't seen who was contacting me.
"Stop the car!" I exclaimed back. We were driving along an empty side street.
Parking, he demanded I show him my phone. Basically reiterating what he had hinted to me an hour earlier, all of those emotions flooded back. Even Soh's insistence that Kevin's text was "great," did not allow those feelings to subside.
Embracing me, he offered me his shoulder. In that instance, I could not imagine another person who I would rather be leaning on.
"Cry it out, Lu," he rubbed my back.
"Thank you, Soh. I love you so much."
"I love you too," he responded.
Once I collected myself and wiped away a few tears, I expressed my thankfulness for our friendship. He is truly an impeccable friend. Dropping me off at my car, we exchanged a "see you later," understanding that distance would do us no harm.
Waking up Saturday morning, I felt much better than the night prior. Since my dad has been out of town the past week and my sister had school, my mom and I grabbed lunch next to the train station. She insisted upon helping me get my things onto the train, and kissed me goodbye. Climbing the stairs, I situated myself at a nice window seat. Although bittersweet, while swaying along the tracks, I gained some peace. I grasped that I wasn't sad about my situation with Kevin (he told me that he is into me for crying out loud), rather, it was the fact that we are forced to put things on hold. Redirecting my mental focus, I am beginning to move my thoughts to the many fun experiences waiting for me this year. Bring it!
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Going to Miss This
Despite my miniature, self-induced worry fit on Wednesday morning, I had a fantastic day. Kevin texted me shortly after I had worked myself up, and I came to realize that he was probably unaware that I could have been upset. Just the other day, I was telling someone that "you can't put people up to tests that they don't know that they are taking," because more often than not, they will fail. Realizing that I fell victim to that mistake, I decided to shrug off the fact that we didn't hang out on Tuesday.
Feeling energized after lunch, I excused myself from the house to go for a run. Towards the end of my four-mile loop, I decided to keep going for another mile. I had a great runner's high, especially once I cooled off in the shower. Although there are times where I feel too groggy to move my legs, I almost always feel awesome when I finish a good run.
Blissful, I dressed myself and got ready for an ukulele lesson my mom had scheduled for me.
Last year, I mentioned to my parents that I wanted an uke for my birthday, after dabbling with a friend's over that summer. Well, a few weeks ago... My mom purchased one from a local music shop and set me up for a joint lesson with a client's daughter.
The lesson went really well and now I am really excited to learn how to play an instrument. Hopefully, it will develop into something that I can use to ease my mind. I would also love to at least have the option of serenading someone someday.
I patiently waited all day, but while my mom, sister, and I were on a Costco shop, Kevin finally asked me to hang out once he was back from class. Yay!
Bailey also reached out to me, "DON'T THINK THAT I DON'T KNOW YOUR BDAY IS MONDAY," while we were out. Good days definitely only get better. I (normally) don't prioritize reminding people when my birthday is, but I cannot help but beam when friends and family make it a point to make it known that it's on their radar. Especially since I'll only be in my apartment a day and a half before, I've been a tad bit bummed out that I might not have an exceptionally fun celebration this year. Consequently, I was incredibly happy to get Bailey's message.
I fixed myself a plate of dinner and ate with my sister as my mom put together floral arrangements. Once we were finished, my younger sister yearned, "I wish we had ice cream."
Offering to drive her, we ventured to her favorite place. I omitted from joining her (I stuffed my face at dinner) in getting a frozen custard. But, damn did it look good.
Neglecting to find an open table nearby, we chose to sit and talk in the car.
"How's your dessert?" I inquired.
"It's really good. Thank you for driving me down here," she revealed her gratitude.
"I'm sorry that you had a bad day." Her purse was stolen that day at school.
"It's ok," she conceded.
Picking my words carefully, I playfully asked, "So what did we learn today?"
"That people suck," she bluntly stated, "And I hate them." Smirking over at me, I genuinely appreciated her sarcastic remark.
"Well, we already knew that..." We both laughed. All jokes aside, I let her know that she should never leave her things unattended or bring nice things (like her new Kindle) with her to school... because people fucking suck.
Although we fought quite a lot growing up, we have grown much closer since I moved away. She and our mom do not get along well, so I have always sought at providing her my (albeit limited) advice and support.
Returning home, I realized that I could freshen up and change before going over to Kevin's that night. I put on an especially cute pair of underwear that I have been saving for quite some time (I think we all realize by this point that I totally slay). Choosing to be both cute and comfortable, I paired a Hawaiian-inspired floral maxi skirt with a maroon crop top that highlighted both my tan skin and my blonde hair.
He let me in, kissing me on forehead as he pulled me in for a hug. We walked into the living room.
"Hey Lulu," Carol smiled at me from the couch.
"Hi! How are you?" I cheerfully asked her.
We exchanged small talk, and she excused herself from the room shortly after.
Kevin and I settled into the couch, and kicked our feet up onto the coffee table. Following a few episodes of The League (which is crude and hilarious), we transitioned to spooning longways. We would make out for short bouts every so often, although it always became too steamy for his living room. Picking up on how horny I was, he started tantalizing me between my thighs. Every time I started coming onto him, he would laugh and deny it to tease me. He obviously has an iron will. After a few rounds of this friskiness, I had endured enough. I was ready to go and was not content with finishing myself off that night, so I pounced on him like a lioness in heat. Even though he was extremely tired, he finally admitted that we should drive somewhere (thank goodness).
We folded down the backseats of my mom's SUV (sorry, not sorry). A girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do. And, my mom is always the one to tell me, "test drive the car before you buy it." So, I guess I took that a little too literally, but at least I can say that I followed her advice...
"Wow, I really was not expecting that you would be such a sex-fiend," Kevin bantered at me.
Laughing, I promised that I wasn't, and was only trying to get in as much action as I could before returning to school.
We ended up hanging out naked for a while, which was very liberating and enjoyable.
I am definitely going to miss this.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Help: I Might Go Crazy
Feeling especially refreshed yesterday morning, I woke up feeling great. The day prior, Monday, I went to yoga, got a much needed hair cut with my mom (summer had left a serious mark on my once-beautiful ends), and ended up running 4.5 miles at sunset.
I basically woke up feeling brand new... minus 3 inches of hair (less is more, right?), and plus extra sore legs. Rolling out of bed (literally), I decided to get outside. Cozying up on some grass, I opened up the book I have been reading.
The weekend before last, I purchased a trendy self-help book from Urban Outfitters by Susie Pearl, called Instructions for Happiness and Success. Up until this summer, I would have been ultra-embarrassed if someone ever saw me with such a thing, but it is a great book. I decided to work on a chapter, and felt even better than how I did when I woke up. I honestly recommend this book to everyone—she has incredible points to make about attracting even more happiness to your life.
Once I finished reading/writing, my mom and I had our eyebrows done. This was only the second time that I have had them waxed—resistance to my mom was very effective for years—so it hurt incredibly. I was crying within seconds of her first rip. This woman was paid to make me cry. Not cool.
As I was laying there, she told me that she wished "this one would go up more." Great, now my right eyebrow looks uneven. My mom reassured me, "They look great sweetie!" Even if they don't, at least they grow back, right?
In the afternoon, my mom needed help with an event, so I looked extra nice. Studying my face and head with concern a few hours prior, she asked me, "You're going to do something with your hair, yeah?" Obviously. (Cue eye roll.)
Kevin and I were, hopefully, going to hangout after as well, so I put on an especially pretty pair of underwear and spent extra time making sure my legs and flower were perfectly smooth. I'm talking "smooth-like-butta" smooth... I'm talking, "smooth-like-Ryan Gosling, professing his undying love for me, after realizing I never opened the beautiful letters he penned me" smooth. (I'm still waiting on that by the way.)
We had planned on me texting Kevin once I was done assisting my mom, so I sent him (what I think was) a funny picture of Spongebob asking Squidward, "Are you finished with those errands?". After a while of random conversation, I began to wonder when he was going to tell me whether he could or couldn't hang out. Well, that never came, so I kind of sat around waiting for the better part of my evening.
I am trying not to care too much, because I have no clue what is going to happen, or what he even thinks of me. Obviously, my efforts have not been that great because my emotions sway as much as a ship struggling on a fully-developed sea. He understands that I leave on Saturday, having commented, "nicee, a few extra days :)." Since we parted on Thursday night last week, I have been so excited to see him again. Between honest enjoyment of his company, and a re-inspired desire to get some, I have been looking forward to combing my fingers through his short, dark hair and to pressing myself against his shirtless body. Basically, I zone out regularly, drifting into great sexual daydreams. Figuring that he felt just as fervent, I, wrongfully, assumed that I would have seen him by now.
In the dark on his thoughts, I don't really know what to expect in regards to the talk we are going to have before I leave. I'm extremely annoyed with piecing together his little hints because they give me tons of room to misread our situation. I know that he thinks it would have been "meager" to have a two-and-done. With such an obvious reference to sex, does that mean that he is only focused on getting some? I made it pretty clear that sex is kind of important to me, so do you think that he would so blatantly take advantage of me?
If I were allowed to read such a thing, I feel like this would be a page ripped right out of the player handbook. I feel like someone convinced me that I would be able to hop a fence, only to get caught at the top, straddling something that was ready to destroy my lady parts. But, then again, he seems too kind (and clueless) to fuck me over like that.
When I originally told my best friend, Bailey, that I was hanging out with Kevin, she characterized him as being a little "derp," which is how I affirmed my slight intuition of him being a bit clueless. Unfortunately, our conversations are totally all over the place since Bailey and I have to communicate cross-country (she goes to school in Boston), so I never found out exactly what she meant by that comment.
Hoping that she would be asleep (I was right) so that she could mull it over on Monday morning, I texted her before I cashed in on Sunday night. Word-vomiting, I sent, "Kevin and I slept together already. Game changer, I know. NEVER STOP LOVING ME BAILEY."
I understand that she doesn't judge me (too much), but this would so not be in her comfort zone, especially because she is fairly conservative/religious. Waking up to her excited demand for details, I wrote her nothing less than a novel.
"Yeah its been a long ass time for you and I really respect you for holding out on sex because most people I know who have already done it basically do it all the time."
"Thanks. At this point, I'm glad that I did it. Holy shit, I have been missing out Bails." We always joked about how long my streak would last, laughing at how long I hadn't gotten my freak on.
"I mean, as long as you don't regret it, I support you. Also, low-key jealous that you were able to do the deed on the MB golf course. Like that's some serious summer fling stuff right there."
The thing I love about Bailey is that regardless of our different views, she always makes it a point to support me regardless of the decisions I make (normally they aren't too bad). Although we are forced to catch up over the phone these days, I still regard her as one of my absolute best friends, and treasure her advice and support.
Expressing my vulnerability, I admitted, "I'm interested and nervous to see how things play out."
She responded, "I think it's a good idea to tell Kevin how you feel since you guys seem pretty comfortable with doing that."
So here I am, still unsure of what to do. Should I initiate a conversation with Kevin about what's going to happen with us? Or should I wait for him to bring it up? So far, I haven't been very confrontational about my feelings (except for the time I told him I didn't know if I wanted to have sex). But, at this point I might go crazy if I have to keep guessing about what he thinks of me until Friday.
I basically woke up feeling brand new... minus 3 inches of hair (less is more, right?), and plus extra sore legs. Rolling out of bed (literally), I decided to get outside. Cozying up on some grass, I opened up the book I have been reading.
The weekend before last, I purchased a trendy self-help book from Urban Outfitters by Susie Pearl, called Instructions for Happiness and Success. Up until this summer, I would have been ultra-embarrassed if someone ever saw me with such a thing, but it is a great book. I decided to work on a chapter, and felt even better than how I did when I woke up. I honestly recommend this book to everyone—she has incredible points to make about attracting even more happiness to your life.
Once I finished reading/writing, my mom and I had our eyebrows done. This was only the second time that I have had them waxed—resistance to my mom was very effective for years—so it hurt incredibly. I was crying within seconds of her first rip. This woman was paid to make me cry. Not cool.
As I was laying there, she told me that she wished "this one would go up more." Great, now my right eyebrow looks uneven. My mom reassured me, "They look great sweetie!" Even if they don't, at least they grow back, right?
In the afternoon, my mom needed help with an event, so I looked extra nice. Studying my face and head with concern a few hours prior, she asked me, "You're going to do something with your hair, yeah?" Obviously. (Cue eye roll.)
Kevin and I were, hopefully, going to hangout after as well, so I put on an especially pretty pair of underwear and spent extra time making sure my legs and flower were perfectly smooth. I'm talking "smooth-like-butta" smooth... I'm talking, "smooth-like-Ryan Gosling, professing his undying love for me, after realizing I never opened the beautiful letters he penned me" smooth. (I'm still waiting on that by the way.)
We had planned on me texting Kevin once I was done assisting my mom, so I sent him (what I think was) a funny picture of Spongebob asking Squidward, "Are you finished with those errands?". After a while of random conversation, I began to wonder when he was going to tell me whether he could or couldn't hang out. Well, that never came, so I kind of sat around waiting for the better part of my evening.
I am trying not to care too much, because I have no clue what is going to happen, or what he even thinks of me. Obviously, my efforts have not been that great because my emotions sway as much as a ship struggling on a fully-developed sea. He understands that I leave on Saturday, having commented, "nicee, a few extra days :)." Since we parted on Thursday night last week, I have been so excited to see him again. Between honest enjoyment of his company, and a re-inspired desire to get some, I have been looking forward to combing my fingers through his short, dark hair and to pressing myself against his shirtless body. Basically, I zone out regularly, drifting into great sexual daydreams. Figuring that he felt just as fervent, I, wrongfully, assumed that I would have seen him by now.
In the dark on his thoughts, I don't really know what to expect in regards to the talk we are going to have before I leave. I'm extremely annoyed with piecing together his little hints because they give me tons of room to misread our situation. I know that he thinks it would have been "meager" to have a two-and-done. With such an obvious reference to sex, does that mean that he is only focused on getting some? I made it pretty clear that sex is kind of important to me, so do you think that he would so blatantly take advantage of me?
If I were allowed to read such a thing, I feel like this would be a page ripped right out of the player handbook. I feel like someone convinced me that I would be able to hop a fence, only to get caught at the top, straddling something that was ready to destroy my lady parts. But, then again, he seems too kind (and clueless) to fuck me over like that.
When I originally told my best friend, Bailey, that I was hanging out with Kevin, she characterized him as being a little "derp," which is how I affirmed my slight intuition of him being a bit clueless. Unfortunately, our conversations are totally all over the place since Bailey and I have to communicate cross-country (she goes to school in Boston), so I never found out exactly what she meant by that comment.
Hoping that she would be asleep (I was right) so that she could mull it over on Monday morning, I texted her before I cashed in on Sunday night. Word-vomiting, I sent, "Kevin and I slept together already. Game changer, I know. NEVER STOP LOVING ME BAILEY."
I understand that she doesn't judge me (too much), but this would so not be in her comfort zone, especially because she is fairly conservative/religious. Waking up to her excited demand for details, I wrote her nothing less than a novel.
"Yeah its been a long ass time for you and I really respect you for holding out on sex because most people I know who have already done it basically do it all the time."
"Thanks. At this point, I'm glad that I did it. Holy shit, I have been missing out Bails." We always joked about how long my streak would last, laughing at how long I hadn't gotten my freak on.
"I mean, as long as you don't regret it, I support you. Also, low-key jealous that you were able to do the deed on the MB golf course. Like that's some serious summer fling stuff right there."
The thing I love about Bailey is that regardless of our different views, she always makes it a point to support me regardless of the decisions I make (normally they aren't too bad). Although we are forced to catch up over the phone these days, I still regard her as one of my absolute best friends, and treasure her advice and support.
Expressing my vulnerability, I admitted, "I'm interested and nervous to see how things play out."
She responded, "I think it's a good idea to tell Kevin how you feel since you guys seem pretty comfortable with doing that."
So here I am, still unsure of what to do. Should I initiate a conversation with Kevin about what's going to happen with us? Or should I wait for him to bring it up? So far, I haven't been very confrontational about my feelings (except for the time I told him I didn't know if I wanted to have sex). But, at this point I might go crazy if I have to keep guessing about what he thinks of me until Friday.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Parents Always Know Best
I consider time to be the most valuable thing in my life. There is nothing worse than the feeling that I am wasting or mismanaging mine. I haven't always taken this into huge consideration, but as I get older, I continue to realize how important it is for me to spend my time doing things I care about.
That being said, my plans for this weekend changed drastically in the past few days. I was originally going to move into my apartment permanently this weekend to give myself about two weeks to settle in before school starts. My parents and I had somewhere to be again this weekend, relatively close to my school. So I was going to finish moving my things in on Friday, spend the weekend with my parents, and be on my way this afternoon.
However, my parents sounded bummed when I let them know that this was the plan I had thought up. They were hoping I would take the train at a later date, to spend this coming week at home. Feeling guilty, this was on my mind a lot last weekend.
Last weekend, Kevin and I were texting and I mentioned this predicament to him.
"Parents always know best," (paired with a cute emoji) was his response.
I wouldn't say that I stayed for him, but I definitely took him into consideration, along with the fact that I'm going to miss my family. For whatever reason, even after hanging out once, I sensed that I needed to feel things out with Kevin. Who knows what will happen in the grand scheme of things, but I'll never know if I don't give it a chance. (Being away from home clearly gave me way too much time to overthink my current situation.)
Yesterday afternoon, I had a meeting for this program I'll be involved in this year. My mom dropped me off after hanging out with them all day, and with their schedule (my dad had something quasi work-related), they decided to have her pick me up early this morning.
One of my roommates, Rachel, and I grabbed dinner together in town.
"Honestly, Lu, you've just got to let things play out how they do."
Laughing because I completely agreed, I said, "I know! It's just so hard. To be honest, I'm scared."
"What scares you?"
"I keep trying to squash any expectations I have, but it's really difficult. I'm afraid of getting hurt, and I'm also afraid of hurting him. I have no idea what he wants, and I am being just as cryptic to protect myself."
I have a pretty bad track record with guys I have been serious with. My two high school relationships ended with me breaking their hearts when I retreated emotionally. I really hate hurting people, and I'm afraid of falling into the same pattern over and over again. Not saying that it will happen, but who knows how Kevin feels about me, and if I even decide I want to pursue him further.
Once we finished eating, we met a friend at that night's soccer game. Even though I'll be happy at home this coming week, I am getting so excited to be going to games and events again!
Our night was pretty relaxed; we just went to Rachel's friends' house. They had "Miss Congeniality" on, so I was obviously enjoying myself (turn down for what?). Once they decided to get late night nachos, my pending abs and I called it a night and finished unpacking.
Taking a look around my room, I became really excited for the year to come.
And... I'm also really excited to hang out with Kevin on Tuesday. Thursday night, he dropped me off after a great date. Giving me a kiss, he said goodnight. "I have class all day on Monday, so I'll see you Tuesday?"
Ugh that had felt like an eternity away. If this felt bad then who knows how I'll feel when I leave for good. "Yeah, that sounds nice, goodnight," I smiled.
"Okay, I'll text you tomorrow! Goodnight!"
Our night had been pretty eventful to say the least. Kevin decided to pick me up around 7:30. We had planned to poke around Laguna, then go to a spot called the top of the world, that looks over a huge amount of the coast. As we were driving from my house, Kevin asked, “Did you end up eating dinner?”
“Yeah, I just made some food. You did right?”
He looked over at me, “No I wasn't that hungry. Are you hungry?” I had a little bit of room, but this was not going to be good for my diet. “I was thinking we could get Sprinkles.”
Sprinkles makes the best cupcakes, so I was unfortunately hooked. Thankfully, they're located even further north than Laguna so the drive keeps me away. I laughed, “Oh my goodness, I love that place. But this is so not good for me.”
We, finally, decided to split a coconut and red velvet after staring at cupcakes for almost ten minutes. They were absolutely delicious so I knew I had to refrain from eating a whole one. Once we were done eating, he got up to throw away our trash. Instinctively, I stood up as well.
“We aren't in a rush,” he told me with a smile.
We continued telling stories from a field study to Baja Mexico that we both went on our respective senior years of high school. Eventually, I mentioned I could go to the bathroom.
“Hmm, okay let's find you a bathroom!”
We got in the car, and he even opened my door for me. “Thank you, sorry to make you drive around.”
“Don't worry about it at all,” he reassured me.
We tried a few gas stations, but found no luck. “That's one thing that our country needs to work on. It's even worse in Europe. You'll walk into a place and have to order a $10 water just to use the bathroom,” he shared with me.
I really like how well travelled he is, and that he's really smart. I wouldn't consider him a genius but he knows his shit for sure.
I ended up going into a restaurant, which I always feel bad about, but I really had to pee. Getting back into the car, Kevin's hand gravitated back to the home it had made above my knee. Moments like these made me miss having a significant other. I listened to him sing along to his playlist, as he tapped along to the beat on my leg. After a bit, he grabbed my hand, and I couldn't help but grin. Little things he does like that make me feel like he does in fact like me as more than a fuck buddy. He could be a master player but I hope not and kind of doubt it at this point.
Once we got to the top of the world, we were in awe at the view. Unfortunately, there were a ton of other people there, so there wasn't much privacy. We started kissing anyways, and things naturally got heated.
“It's not very private up here.” I had to put that out in the open, because I was in the mood for a good time.
“Well we can always strip down and do it right here.” That sense of humor made the fact that we had no where to go kind of amusing.
After a big group of people pulled up, we hopped in the truck he was driving tonight. His car died the other day, so he's been driving a slew of vehicles. Unfortunately the truck had zero room.
We improvised by stopping by his house to get a sleeping bag and towels. Settling on the huge grassy hill above one of our local beaches, we rushed over there to find that the sprinklers had just gone off.
“The world is working against us, I swear!” I couldn't help but laugh that something was stopping every plan we had.
“We are gonna make this happen, don't worry,” Kevin reassured me. “Let's walk over to the golf course!”
Holding hands, we took a leisurely stroll over to a golf course down the beach trail. The grass on the putting green wasn't very damp so we set our towels down. Realizing that there were sprinklers on not too far away, we waited a few minutes to be safe.
I looked up at him, smirking. “Um, I think we're alright.”
“I was just about to say the same thing.” He kissed me with urgency, even though we were both grinning.
Covering ourselves with the unzipped sleeping bag, we shed our clothing faster than polar bears in the Sahara. Once we were bare, he flipped me onto my back and went down on me. It was fantastic. I returned the favor, but after a bit he pulled me up.
“Do you want top or bottom?” Ugh that smile. I'm going to miss that.
“Top,” I giggled. He seemed to be enjoying himself as I rode him. He flipped me after a bit. Glittering the sky, the stars were absolutely stunning. I wish I could have enjoyed them more but I couldn't keep my eyes open for very long.
Playful Kevin was definitely out this time around. “Wanna do doggie?”
“Hell yeah!” I was clearly having a blast.
Once we were done, my arms gave out from underneath me, sending me to the ground.
“Haha what is up with you?” he inquired. I was giggling like a kid in a candy shop, and I probably sounded like a crazy person.
“Mmmm,” I purred.
A few moments later, I felt a slight mist on my naked back and noticed the sound of falling water.
“Oh shit,” I screamed. “The sprinklers!”
We were literally cracking up, frantically searching for any clothing we could find strewn around. With clothes half on, we gathered our things and moved them further from the spray.
“Oh my gosh, this is great!” he exclaimed.
“I don't know how but our timing was actually perfect.” For once it was, and I was stoked.
Once we were packed up, we began our walk back, his arm over my shoulders.
Kevin broke the short silence, “That was definitely one to remember. I think that was some of the best sex ever.”
“It was pretty great,” I replied.
“The stars were so gorgeous. When you were on top, I zoned out so hard.”
He was right. It was awesome. The stars illuminated an otherwise dark sky, and we could hear the waves crashing, without the sand (because no one likes sandy private parts... and I am speaking from personal experience, it sucks).
It was basically one of the best "dates" that I have ever been on. Despite all of my fears, I'm trying really hard to let go and live a little bit. Even if things don't work out, at least I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and making some hilarious memories!
That being said, my plans for this weekend changed drastically in the past few days. I was originally going to move into my apartment permanently this weekend to give myself about two weeks to settle in before school starts. My parents and I had somewhere to be again this weekend, relatively close to my school. So I was going to finish moving my things in on Friday, spend the weekend with my parents, and be on my way this afternoon.
However, my parents sounded bummed when I let them know that this was the plan I had thought up. They were hoping I would take the train at a later date, to spend this coming week at home. Feeling guilty, this was on my mind a lot last weekend.
Last weekend, Kevin and I were texting and I mentioned this predicament to him.
"Parents always know best," (paired with a cute emoji) was his response.
I wouldn't say that I stayed for him, but I definitely took him into consideration, along with the fact that I'm going to miss my family. For whatever reason, even after hanging out once, I sensed that I needed to feel things out with Kevin. Who knows what will happen in the grand scheme of things, but I'll never know if I don't give it a chance. (Being away from home clearly gave me way too much time to overthink my current situation.)
Yesterday afternoon, I had a meeting for this program I'll be involved in this year. My mom dropped me off after hanging out with them all day, and with their schedule (my dad had something quasi work-related), they decided to have her pick me up early this morning.
One of my roommates, Rachel, and I grabbed dinner together in town.
"Honestly, Lu, you've just got to let things play out how they do."
Laughing because I completely agreed, I said, "I know! It's just so hard. To be honest, I'm scared."
"What scares you?"
"I keep trying to squash any expectations I have, but it's really difficult. I'm afraid of getting hurt, and I'm also afraid of hurting him. I have no idea what he wants, and I am being just as cryptic to protect myself."
I have a pretty bad track record with guys I have been serious with. My two high school relationships ended with me breaking their hearts when I retreated emotionally. I really hate hurting people, and I'm afraid of falling into the same pattern over and over again. Not saying that it will happen, but who knows how Kevin feels about me, and if I even decide I want to pursue him further.
Once we finished eating, we met a friend at that night's soccer game. Even though I'll be happy at home this coming week, I am getting so excited to be going to games and events again!
Our night was pretty relaxed; we just went to Rachel's friends' house. They had "Miss Congeniality" on, so I was obviously enjoying myself (turn down for what?). Once they decided to get late night nachos, my pending abs and I called it a night and finished unpacking.
Taking a look around my room, I became really excited for the year to come.
And... I'm also really excited to hang out with Kevin on Tuesday. Thursday night, he dropped me off after a great date. Giving me a kiss, he said goodnight. "I have class all day on Monday, so I'll see you Tuesday?"
Ugh that had felt like an eternity away. If this felt bad then who knows how I'll feel when I leave for good. "Yeah, that sounds nice, goodnight," I smiled.
"Okay, I'll text you tomorrow! Goodnight!"
Our night had been pretty eventful to say the least. Kevin decided to pick me up around 7:30. We had planned to poke around Laguna, then go to a spot called the top of the world, that looks over a huge amount of the coast. As we were driving from my house, Kevin asked, “Did you end up eating dinner?”
“Yeah, I just made some food. You did right?”
He looked over at me, “No I wasn't that hungry. Are you hungry?” I had a little bit of room, but this was not going to be good for my diet. “I was thinking we could get Sprinkles.”
Sprinkles makes the best cupcakes, so I was unfortunately hooked. Thankfully, they're located even further north than Laguna so the drive keeps me away. I laughed, “Oh my goodness, I love that place. But this is so not good for me.”
We, finally, decided to split a coconut and red velvet after staring at cupcakes for almost ten minutes. They were absolutely delicious so I knew I had to refrain from eating a whole one. Once we were done eating, he got up to throw away our trash. Instinctively, I stood up as well.
“We aren't in a rush,” he told me with a smile.
We continued telling stories from a field study to Baja Mexico that we both went on our respective senior years of high school. Eventually, I mentioned I could go to the bathroom.
“Hmm, okay let's find you a bathroom!”
We got in the car, and he even opened my door for me. “Thank you, sorry to make you drive around.”
“Don't worry about it at all,” he reassured me.
We tried a few gas stations, but found no luck. “That's one thing that our country needs to work on. It's even worse in Europe. You'll walk into a place and have to order a $10 water just to use the bathroom,” he shared with me.
I really like how well travelled he is, and that he's really smart. I wouldn't consider him a genius but he knows his shit for sure.
I ended up going into a restaurant, which I always feel bad about, but I really had to pee. Getting back into the car, Kevin's hand gravitated back to the home it had made above my knee. Moments like these made me miss having a significant other. I listened to him sing along to his playlist, as he tapped along to the beat on my leg. After a bit, he grabbed my hand, and I couldn't help but grin. Little things he does like that make me feel like he does in fact like me as more than a fuck buddy. He could be a master player but I hope not and kind of doubt it at this point.
Once we got to the top of the world, we were in awe at the view. Unfortunately, there were a ton of other people there, so there wasn't much privacy. We started kissing anyways, and things naturally got heated.
“It's not very private up here.” I had to put that out in the open, because I was in the mood for a good time.
“Well we can always strip down and do it right here.” That sense of humor made the fact that we had no where to go kind of amusing.
After a big group of people pulled up, we hopped in the truck he was driving tonight. His car died the other day, so he's been driving a slew of vehicles. Unfortunately the truck had zero room.
We improvised by stopping by his house to get a sleeping bag and towels. Settling on the huge grassy hill above one of our local beaches, we rushed over there to find that the sprinklers had just gone off.
“The world is working against us, I swear!” I couldn't help but laugh that something was stopping every plan we had.
“We are gonna make this happen, don't worry,” Kevin reassured me. “Let's walk over to the golf course!”
Holding hands, we took a leisurely stroll over to a golf course down the beach trail. The grass on the putting green wasn't very damp so we set our towels down. Realizing that there were sprinklers on not too far away, we waited a few minutes to be safe.
I looked up at him, smirking. “Um, I think we're alright.”
“I was just about to say the same thing.” He kissed me with urgency, even though we were both grinning.
Covering ourselves with the unzipped sleeping bag, we shed our clothing faster than polar bears in the Sahara. Once we were bare, he flipped me onto my back and went down on me. It was fantastic. I returned the favor, but after a bit he pulled me up.
“Do you want top or bottom?” Ugh that smile. I'm going to miss that.
“Top,” I giggled. He seemed to be enjoying himself as I rode him. He flipped me after a bit. Glittering the sky, the stars were absolutely stunning. I wish I could have enjoyed them more but I couldn't keep my eyes open for very long.
Playful Kevin was definitely out this time around. “Wanna do doggie?”
“Hell yeah!” I was clearly having a blast.
Once we were done, my arms gave out from underneath me, sending me to the ground.
“Haha what is up with you?” he inquired. I was giggling like a kid in a candy shop, and I probably sounded like a crazy person.
“Mmmm,” I purred.
A few moments later, I felt a slight mist on my naked back and noticed the sound of falling water.
“Oh shit,” I screamed. “The sprinklers!”
We were literally cracking up, frantically searching for any clothing we could find strewn around. With clothes half on, we gathered our things and moved them further from the spray.
“Oh my gosh, this is great!” he exclaimed.
“I don't know how but our timing was actually perfect.” For once it was, and I was stoked.
Once we were packed up, we began our walk back, his arm over my shoulders.
Kevin broke the short silence, “That was definitely one to remember. I think that was some of the best sex ever.”
“It was pretty great,” I replied.
“The stars were so gorgeous. When you were on top, I zoned out so hard.”
He was right. It was awesome. The stars illuminated an otherwise dark sky, and we could hear the waves crashing, without the sand (because no one likes sandy private parts... and I am speaking from personal experience, it sucks).
It was basically one of the best "dates" that I have ever been on. Despite all of my fears, I'm trying really hard to let go and live a little bit. Even if things don't work out, at least I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and making some hilarious memories!
Thursday, September 18, 2014
I Think I Died
Kevin and I met at the parking lot for a beach near by the both of our houses.
He got out of the car, meeting me by my driver's seat. "Soo, what do you want to do?" he asked with a big smile on his face. Great, he's going to make me think of something! He told me that we were doing anything that I wanted to do, and wouldn't even give me an inkling of any ideas that he had. Gentlemanly, but extremely difficult for me.
"Let's just walk along the beach!"
"Are you sure that's what you want to do?"
Getting his jokes, I laughed and told him to shut up. "I'm just gonna start walking."
After quite a while, he pointed out how beautiful and clear the stars were. Normally, they're decent, but we could even see the dense band of the Milky Way. We stopped walking, and peered up at the sky.
He kissed me, and after making out for a bit, we were both very horny. Once he grabbed my ass, I was extremely turned on and wanted him more than I was comfortable with. We were in an alcove-style sitting area on the walkway, and there was literally no one around. I'm actually very into secretive public hookups, so this was right up my alley. After we started fondling each other, Kevin mentioned that he only had condoms in his car.
I guess I gave off serious "I want to fuck you" vibes, but I actually wasn't really sure if I wanted to. I mean, I was down to give him a great blowjob, but I hadn't had sex in a horrendous amount of time. Sex is one of those things that really sucks for me when it isn't right, and I had only done it with boyfriends. So, obviously my thoughts were spinning a bit while we were walking up.
Once we got to the car, we drove to a darker spot out of the parking lot. He was driving a suburban, so I was very stoked to have some room to play. As he was opening a new box of condoms—plus one for Kev—I spewed out, "you know, I'm actually unsure of whether or not I want to have sex with you." He immediately jumped into the back to meet me, kissed me, as it didn't even phase him. "I figured you wouldn't mind, but..."
He cut me off, "Of course Lu, whatever you want." He looked me in the eyes, and I felt how genuine it was. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but the nervousness bubbled up (per usual) so I was afraid of doing something I would regret.
Once we were naked, I worked my way down, kissing his neck, chest, stomach, and below. As I started going down on him, I realized that my mouth could possibly be sore the next day. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself, quietly moaning my name every so often, and massaging his hands into my back.
This might be really weird, but I genuinely like going down on guys if they're respectful. I hate being asked to do it and I hate when someone moves my head, but if I'm the one initiating then I'm having a blast.
I'm doing my thing, and he pulls me up. "Do you want me to eat you out?" Yes, get to work.
As I sprawl onto the floor and back seat, he starts working his tongue, and I think I could have been in heaven. My head was getting really cloudy as a car pulled up and stopped right next to our sexmobile, so he had to stop. "Thanks for ruining my orgasm assholes," I thought.
"You were so close! I just want to make you come so badly." Well at least, I had someone rooting for me. He starts working his magic again, sending me into a total daze. Sadly, for whatever reason, that car ruined my orgasm and I wasn't getting brought over the edge.
Realizing that this had been going on for a little while and feeling kind of bad, I started working him in my hand. I moved him to the seat and went down on him again. He seemed to be having a ton of fun, moaning my name and whispering to me how great it was. Well, I obviously knew that but my mouth was full so I didn't thank him. Once he was done, he kissed me on the cheek.
Feeling a bit lazy, we fell back into the seats for a bit. He came closer to me, sat on the floor, and started lightly scratching my leg. This is one of my absolute favorite things—plus two for Kevin—so I was pretty blissful.
Somehow the topic of sex came up, and I laughed, being truthful with him about the last time I had *good* sex, which was about two years ago. Every time I think about it, I realize that its exponentially worse and it sucks. He looked at me like I was insane, and we both cracked up. "I cannot believe you haven't had a good orgasm in that long," he sympathized. He understood and respected that sex is a relatively special thing for me.
Kevin kept scratching my leg in the silence, but started to rub my thigh and work his way in between my legs. Round 2, yay!
As we are working each other he tells me, "I just want you so badly. I want you to feel what you've been missing for so long." I definitely felt better knowing that he understood how I feel about sex, and was totally going to give in.
I laughed at him, "I was going to be strong!"
"I really don't want to pressure you, but why be strong when you can have fun?" Touché.
"Okay, let's go!" He hesitated, so I told him to get the show on the road.
As he found that pesky box, he told me, "This won't be a one time thing." Not exactly sure what that means either, and I am trying not to overthink it (yeah right).
In about two seconds, I was literally screaming. Once we were done, I laid out. "I told you it would be quick," he smirked, "how do you feel?"
"I think I'm dead," was all I could muster.
Once we started getting extra sleepy, we called it a night. I thanked him immensely, and we agreed that it's definitely happening again.
He got out of the car, meeting me by my driver's seat. "Soo, what do you want to do?" he asked with a big smile on his face. Great, he's going to make me think of something! He told me that we were doing anything that I wanted to do, and wouldn't even give me an inkling of any ideas that he had. Gentlemanly, but extremely difficult for me.
"Let's just walk along the beach!"
"Are you sure that's what you want to do?"
Getting his jokes, I laughed and told him to shut up. "I'm just gonna start walking."
After quite a while, he pointed out how beautiful and clear the stars were. Normally, they're decent, but we could even see the dense band of the Milky Way. We stopped walking, and peered up at the sky.
He kissed me, and after making out for a bit, we were both very horny. Once he grabbed my ass, I was extremely turned on and wanted him more than I was comfortable with. We were in an alcove-style sitting area on the walkway, and there was literally no one around. I'm actually very into secretive public hookups, so this was right up my alley. After we started fondling each other, Kevin mentioned that he only had condoms in his car.
I guess I gave off serious "I want to fuck you" vibes, but I actually wasn't really sure if I wanted to. I mean, I was down to give him a great blowjob, but I hadn't had sex in a horrendous amount of time. Sex is one of those things that really sucks for me when it isn't right, and I had only done it with boyfriends. So, obviously my thoughts were spinning a bit while we were walking up.
Once we got to the car, we drove to a darker spot out of the parking lot. He was driving a suburban, so I was very stoked to have some room to play. As he was opening a new box of condoms—plus one for Kev—I spewed out, "you know, I'm actually unsure of whether or not I want to have sex with you." He immediately jumped into the back to meet me, kissed me, as it didn't even phase him. "I figured you wouldn't mind, but..."
He cut me off, "Of course Lu, whatever you want." He looked me in the eyes, and I felt how genuine it was. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but the nervousness bubbled up (per usual) so I was afraid of doing something I would regret.
Once we were naked, I worked my way down, kissing his neck, chest, stomach, and below. As I started going down on him, I realized that my mouth could possibly be sore the next day. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself, quietly moaning my name every so often, and massaging his hands into my back.
This might be really weird, but I genuinely like going down on guys if they're respectful. I hate being asked to do it and I hate when someone moves my head, but if I'm the one initiating then I'm having a blast.
I'm doing my thing, and he pulls me up. "Do you want me to eat you out?" Yes, get to work.
As I sprawl onto the floor and back seat, he starts working his tongue, and I think I could have been in heaven. My head was getting really cloudy as a car pulled up and stopped right next to our sexmobile, so he had to stop. "Thanks for ruining my orgasm assholes," I thought.
"You were so close! I just want to make you come so badly." Well at least, I had someone rooting for me. He starts working his magic again, sending me into a total daze. Sadly, for whatever reason, that car ruined my orgasm and I wasn't getting brought over the edge.
Realizing that this had been going on for a little while and feeling kind of bad, I started working him in my hand. I moved him to the seat and went down on him again. He seemed to be having a ton of fun, moaning my name and whispering to me how great it was. Well, I obviously knew that but my mouth was full so I didn't thank him. Once he was done, he kissed me on the cheek.
Feeling a bit lazy, we fell back into the seats for a bit. He came closer to me, sat on the floor, and started lightly scratching my leg. This is one of my absolute favorite things—plus two for Kevin—so I was pretty blissful.
Somehow the topic of sex came up, and I laughed, being truthful with him about the last time I had *good* sex, which was about two years ago. Every time I think about it, I realize that its exponentially worse and it sucks. He looked at me like I was insane, and we both cracked up. "I cannot believe you haven't had a good orgasm in that long," he sympathized. He understood and respected that sex is a relatively special thing for me.
Kevin kept scratching my leg in the silence, but started to rub my thigh and work his way in between my legs. Round 2, yay!
As we are working each other he tells me, "I just want you so badly. I want you to feel what you've been missing for so long." I definitely felt better knowing that he understood how I feel about sex, and was totally going to give in.
I laughed at him, "I was going to be strong!"
"I really don't want to pressure you, but why be strong when you can have fun?" Touché.
"Okay, let's go!" He hesitated, so I told him to get the show on the road.
As he found that pesky box, he told me, "This won't be a one time thing." Not exactly sure what that means either, and I am trying not to overthink it (yeah right).
In about two seconds, I was literally screaming. Once we were done, I laid out. "I told you it would be quick," he smirked, "how do you feel?"
"I think I'm dead," was all I could muster.
Once we started getting extra sleepy, we called it a night. I thanked him immensely, and we agreed that it's definitely happening again.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
I Mean, This is the First Time We've Kissed
Sometime last week, I was surfing with my dad at our local spot. He taught me how to surf when I was little, and now, as an incoming second year in college, our surf sessions are less frequent. I've been trying to make the most of our time together, especially since I move into my new apartment next week.
My dad and I were sharing waves with each other (even though we were definitely hogging a ton that come in), so I had a giant smile plastered onto my face. Basically, when the water is warm, and the waves are fun, I act like a little ball of sunshine. The ocean truly is my happy place, and I'm a total fish out-of-water.
I was paddling back out after a fun one and recognized a guy who was a year older than me in high school. To be honest, I see him around pretty often, but have never taken the initiative to introduce myself. Once you get to know me, I'd say I'm pretty open and laid-back, but throw a cute, semi-stranger in the mix and I forget how to speak English. Thankfully, I was surfing good and feeling really confident so I smiled at him. We both waved and he initiated conversation.
"Hey, you're Lulu right?"
"Yeah, didn't you go to Dana? Kevin?"
So, at least he kind of knew who I was. I always thought that he was a pretty good-looking guy, but in high school, I either had a boyfriend or didn't take my own initiative with guys.
We ended up chit-chatting for a bit, and I found out that he is transferring to my school in the spring for soccer. What a coincidence. Since I haven't gotten any action all summer, I realized that I should be hopping all over the idea of a fun little fling, especially since he will be visiting quite a bit before he moves up.
He ended up asking if I would be at yoga in the next few days, so I made a mental note that, yes I would be going to yoga.
Come two days later, I walked up to the donation yoga in our local park (gotta love Southern California). I sat down in a different spot from where Kevin was, but walked over to him once we made eye contact after class. He was with a very pretty brunette girl who seemed really nice, but she left shortly. We ended up talking for about 3 hours in the scorching hot park, and I realized that we have a ton of things in common. He seems like a genuinely nice guy, loves to travel, is super active, and seems to just love life. Obviously, I've already begun the process of planning our wedding.
I was out of town over the weekend with my parents, but Kevin and I were texting on and off the whole time. We decided to hang out on Tuesday even though he had to study (hah yeah right I was going to let that happen).
So... flash forward to yesterday (long buildup I know)... I drove over to his house around 4:30, and the tropical moisture we are experiencing caused a sudden downpour. I couldn't help my smile as the rain covered me once I got out of my car. That and the fact that he was skating around in board shorts... Wow, does he have a great bod. We ended up swimming in the pool for a while, even though he wanted to start studying at 6.
I finally started to get less nervous around him after talking for a while (sue me). We heated up some leftovers, and I shoveled them down. So... at least he's already seen that shit show. Then, he started getting touchy with me and I thought I was going to have an aneurism. It's weird because if I didn't click with him at all, I wouldn't have been so shy, but I definitely have a crush on him.
Eventually, he was hungry again so we made a smoothie. It tasted delicious and thankfully washed the carnitas-funk from my mouth. Neither of us walked away and he started tickling me, so I knew he was about to make his move. With a mischievous smile, his lips gravitated towards mine. His kisses were slow and gentle at first, but damn does the man have nice lips. On the eighth day, God made Kevin's smile. I didn't want him to think that I am a slut because I actually like him, so I didn't let things get too frisky even though I was horny for a good finger bang.
Things couldn't have gone further anyways, because I am a total klutz. Mid make out, my elbow toppled into the smoothie, splattering it all over the counter. Great, at least its clear that Kevin is into me because I am elegant and graceful.
After a while, his parents got home. Kevin motioned down, "Don't forget your button." I fixed my sundress because my entire cleavage was showing (at least I gave him a show) and calmed myself. His parents are really nice and are totally used to random girls in their house. I bet they've walked in on him numerous times, so at least I wasn't disheveled-looking.
Kevin walked me to my car, being super affectionate and kissing me 24/7. We agreed that we wanted to hang out the following night (tonight), and somehow it came up that I'm leaving soon.
"Yeah, I want to hang out with you a bunch before you go back to school." Yay!
"Definitely, we should," I responded.
"I guess we can figure that out when it comes." Well way to fuck with my thoughts, Kevin. Figure what out, anyways?
I mulled that over for a bit, somehow giving some sort of vocal responses to whatever he was saying.
"I mean this is the first time we've kissed, so who knows if anything will even come of it, but you're pretty cool." Exactly, this is the first time we've kissed, so I don't get why he would bring this up.
So I'm pretty confused. A week ago, I was horny, yes, but not in the least bit lonely. Over the past few months I've gotten into what I consider killer shape, feel the best I ever have, and am genuinely enjoying myself. Then, two weeks before I leave for school, I meet a cute, nice guy that I'm actually intrigued by. This is literal trouble for me and I'm not aware of how I want to handle it.
Oh well, I guess we're hanging out tonight so I'll figure it out later.
My dad and I were sharing waves with each other (even though we were definitely hogging a ton that come in), so I had a giant smile plastered onto my face. Basically, when the water is warm, and the waves are fun, I act like a little ball of sunshine. The ocean truly is my happy place, and I'm a total fish out-of-water.
I was paddling back out after a fun one and recognized a guy who was a year older than me in high school. To be honest, I see him around pretty often, but have never taken the initiative to introduce myself. Once you get to know me, I'd say I'm pretty open and laid-back, but throw a cute, semi-stranger in the mix and I forget how to speak English. Thankfully, I was surfing good and feeling really confident so I smiled at him. We both waved and he initiated conversation.
"Hey, you're Lulu right?"
"Yeah, didn't you go to Dana? Kevin?"
So, at least he kind of knew who I was. I always thought that he was a pretty good-looking guy, but in high school, I either had a boyfriend or didn't take my own initiative with guys.
We ended up chit-chatting for a bit, and I found out that he is transferring to my school in the spring for soccer. What a coincidence. Since I haven't gotten any action all summer, I realized that I should be hopping all over the idea of a fun little fling, especially since he will be visiting quite a bit before he moves up.
He ended up asking if I would be at yoga in the next few days, so I made a mental note that, yes I would be going to yoga.
Come two days later, I walked up to the donation yoga in our local park (gotta love Southern California). I sat down in a different spot from where Kevin was, but walked over to him once we made eye contact after class. He was with a very pretty brunette girl who seemed really nice, but she left shortly. We ended up talking for about 3 hours in the scorching hot park, and I realized that we have a ton of things in common. He seems like a genuinely nice guy, loves to travel, is super active, and seems to just love life. Obviously, I've already begun the process of planning our wedding.
I was out of town over the weekend with my parents, but Kevin and I were texting on and off the whole time. We decided to hang out on Tuesday even though he had to study (hah yeah right I was going to let that happen).
So... flash forward to yesterday (long buildup I know)... I drove over to his house around 4:30, and the tropical moisture we are experiencing caused a sudden downpour. I couldn't help my smile as the rain covered me once I got out of my car. That and the fact that he was skating around in board shorts... Wow, does he have a great bod. We ended up swimming in the pool for a while, even though he wanted to start studying at 6.
I finally started to get less nervous around him after talking for a while (sue me). We heated up some leftovers, and I shoveled them down. So... at least he's already seen that shit show. Then, he started getting touchy with me and I thought I was going to have an aneurism. It's weird because if I didn't click with him at all, I wouldn't have been so shy, but I definitely have a crush on him.
Eventually, he was hungry again so we made a smoothie. It tasted delicious and thankfully washed the carnitas-funk from my mouth. Neither of us walked away and he started tickling me, so I knew he was about to make his move. With a mischievous smile, his lips gravitated towards mine. His kisses were slow and gentle at first, but damn does the man have nice lips. On the eighth day, God made Kevin's smile. I didn't want him to think that I am a slut because I actually like him, so I didn't let things get too frisky even though I was horny for a good finger bang.
Things couldn't have gone further anyways, because I am a total klutz. Mid make out, my elbow toppled into the smoothie, splattering it all over the counter. Great, at least its clear that Kevin is into me because I am elegant and graceful.
After a while, his parents got home. Kevin motioned down, "Don't forget your button." I fixed my sundress because my entire cleavage was showing (at least I gave him a show) and calmed myself. His parents are really nice and are totally used to random girls in their house. I bet they've walked in on him numerous times, so at least I wasn't disheveled-looking.
Kevin walked me to my car, being super affectionate and kissing me 24/7. We agreed that we wanted to hang out the following night (tonight), and somehow it came up that I'm leaving soon.
"Yeah, I want to hang out with you a bunch before you go back to school." Yay!
"Definitely, we should," I responded.
"I guess we can figure that out when it comes." Well way to fuck with my thoughts, Kevin. Figure what out, anyways?
I mulled that over for a bit, somehow giving some sort of vocal responses to whatever he was saying.
"I mean this is the first time we've kissed, so who knows if anything will even come of it, but you're pretty cool." Exactly, this is the first time we've kissed, so I don't get why he would bring this up.
So I'm pretty confused. A week ago, I was horny, yes, but not in the least bit lonely. Over the past few months I've gotten into what I consider killer shape, feel the best I ever have, and am genuinely enjoying myself. Then, two weeks before I leave for school, I meet a cute, nice guy that I'm actually intrigued by. This is literal trouble for me and I'm not aware of how I want to handle it.
Oh well, I guess we're hanging out tonight so I'll figure it out later.
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