Ready

My last few days at home were very relaxing and enjoyable. Even though I'll miss it, I do feel ready to hit the books (if I have to), reconnect with friends, and embrace new experiences. 

On Thursday, Kevin and I met up at the beach for a quick surf. The waves weren't very good, but the water was incredibly refreshing. We chatted for a while, and decided to hang out later that night. 

Once I got home that morning, I chose to visit a few of my favorite high school teachers. Sneaking onto campus (like I used to regularly) in order to bypass the office, a group of boys catcalled at me. Clearly I did not blend in like I would have preferred. Two years ago, I may have gladly humored their pickup lines, but I was not having any of it as a college student. I smiled, said hello, then put my head down and booked it to my favorite teacher's room. 

It was a few minutes before lunch when I walked into Mr. H's classroom. I recognized a few of the kids in that period of Marine Ecology, a senior-only science class. Quickly concluding his lecture, he told his students, "Ok, you can take out your phones or talk until lunch begins." 

Walking over to me, he gave me a hug and we caught up on our respective summers and the last year of school. At a lull in our conversation, he asked me what my plans were in the spring. YES, HE WANTS ME TO BE A GROUP LEADER... MEXICO, HERE I COME!! Playing it cool to the best of my ability (not very cool at all), I responded, "Well I have school obviously, but could manage to take a week off..."

My cheeks puffed up, and I, helplessly, began to show my teeth. There was no way I could hold in my excitement any longer once he told me that he would love to see me as a group leader for the seniors on this year's trip. I am not sure how obvious it is, but that trip was one of my absolute greatest life experiences thus far. To go back is one thing, but my teacher's desire to bring me back is just plain awesome. 

I visited a few other teachers, and chatted with a few friends that still go to school there. There are a handful of seniors that I still keep in touch with, and it is nice to hear about their pending college decisions and respective final years. One of my absolute best friends, Soh, still goes to school there, so I snuck into the back of his calculus class. Thankfully, when I took that class, our teacher loved me, so my distraction was gladly welcomed. My front corner seat (yes, it will obviously always be mine) was open, so once I was greeted, I parked it and attempted to understand the day's lesson. Thankfully, it was something relatively easy so I didn't look like an idiot when Mr. D asked me little tidbits. He even remembered, "Lu, you were really good at this stuff." Plus one for me, muwaha!

Soh and I started mouthing words to each other behind Mr. D's back (oh, high school) about meeting up sometime that night to catch up. He had been super busy with classes, college apps, and homecoming preparations, so we haven't seen each other much since their school year started a month ago. 

Kevin wasn't able to hang out after all, so my evening was relatively free. I texted Soh, knowing that he was busy with a rehearsal for the homecoming football game's halftime show. I received a call back within a few minutes.

"Lu, what are you doing right now? I know that you're a cool college kid now, but you should bring me water to the field... and we can drive around after," he started chuckling. Our favorite pastime has always been to drive around talking and listening to music. I am really thankful for our friendship, because it is one of those where we don't need to be doing anything in order to have fun. 

Once he was done helping with logistics for their upcoming show, we hopped in his car.

"So, how has the campaign for Homecoming King been going?" I winked over at him. 

"Oh my," laughing contagiously, "Shut up, Lu! You know that I don't want to win!" My favorite quality of Soh's is his humble disregard for how much everyone truly enjoys him. Not only does he have a great sense of humor, he is also a great leader and an indiscriminately caring person. 

After hearing about his first few weeks of school, he finally asked me, "Soooo, any boys?" with a dramatic wink and a smile. We always gossip about our crushes, dates, etc., so this was normal except for the fact that my answer wasn't the usual, "no."

I giggled, inciting his excited response. "Whaaaaat?! Who is he? Did you 'empower' yourself?"

"Ok, I seriously hate you for that," despite his blatant reference to blow jobs, I obviously still told him everything, taking breaks along the way for him to heckle me. 

"Jokes aside, I'm really happy that you two like each other. I hate the cliche, but if it is meant to be, things will work out."

We hung out for a bit longer, and decided that we would meet up again before I left for school. 

The next day, Friday, Kevin made sure that his entire day was free. Asking what I wanted to do, I resolved that we could explore one of our local beaches. There are a small beach and a cave that you can climb to, hidden from the main beach. Not many people go because it is a bit of a mission, so we had the area to ourselves the entire day. From what it seemed, the both of us were somewhat quieter than normal, probably due to our imminent goodbye. I was still having a great time exploring the rocks with him though.

"It is so peaceful here," he broke a silence as we were twenty feet above the crashing waves.

"It feels like another world up here," I agreed.

We quietly admired the view for a few minutes more, then walked back over to our things. We had placed them on some rocks while the tide was high, but it had receded quite a bit while we were gone, allowing us to lay out our towels on the warm sand. 

Brushing a few strands of hair out of my face, he kissed my forehead. Looking into my eyes, I perceived a different manner of passion then I had before. Maybe I had been too nervous to notice, but his kiss felt incredibly genuine and familiar, like one between two lovers. 

After I had gone down on him for a while, we both laughed in frustration because, in that moment, we weren't 'prepared' to go all the way. Salt water lapping the shore of our deserted beach, immaculate cliff faces eclipsing us from the rest of the world, a gentle sea breeze tickling our natural bodies: it was perfection. 

We walked down to the tideline to cool off. Less than five minutes later, Kevin hugged me from behind, spun me around, and led me to our towels. Laying me down onto my back, he gave me the best orgasm of my life. Occasionally, I would move my eyes from the birds flying overhead to meet his, and he seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself. And, boy, does this man have talent. He should lead a workshop.

Once I was done enjoying myself (I definitely milked it for a while), I flipped him over for some unfinished business.

"Wow. Best BJ of my life," he peered up at me, shifting his forearms underneath himself. 

Now, I joke about my talent regularly, but it is another thing to receive such great reviews. 

The two of us jumped in the water shortly thereafter. I absolutely love skinny dipping in the ocean; the cool waves' movement against naked skin is incredible. Cleansing, yet exhilarating, it is spiritually and physically rejuvenating. 

After meandering the beach and tide pools, Kevin and I packed up our things. Both extremely hungry, we decided to prepare dinner at his house. The rest of our night was mellow: watching t.v. and laying on the couch together. Being with him was comfortable. 

Eventually, we were both tired and I decided to excuse myself. Walking me out to my car, he wrapped his arms around me, completely enveloping me in something I already missed.  Gentle kisses met my forehead, then our eyes met.

"Lu, you're a really cool girl. I have had a lot of fun these past few weeks hanging out with you. Our timing isn't the greatest, but I'll be visiting soon and we'll keep talking." I was at a loss for words, nervousness, sadness, and happiness all pulsing through my veins. To be honest, I don't have a clue about how I responded. "And, if all goes as planned I'll be moving up there after winter break, so we can see where things go when the time comes."

I let him know how much fun I had been having with him, and a few other insights into my feelings, but nothing majorly revealing. 

We exchanged our bittersweet goodnight.

Thankfully, I had missed a call from Soh. He was out and about, so we met up. 

"How was the show?" I asked him when I got into his car. Chatting about that for a short time, he transitioned the conversation to me.

"So, what did you do today?" clearly awaiting a full recap. 

I shared everything, then he delved deeper, "How do you feel?"

"It sucks," I was brutally honest. His silence invited me to go on with my thoughts, so I word-vomitted for about ten minutes, with occasional reassurances bouncing back. 

Eventually, my mood bettered, simply from Soh's company. His playfully deprecating and innocently crude jokes also ameliorated our car ride. As we were hysterically laughing about something, a tweet sung from my phone, and Kevin's name flashed on my screen. 

"Did Kevin just text you?!" Soh hadn't seen who was contacting me.

"Stop the car!" I exclaimed back. We were driving along an empty side street. 

Parking, he demanded I show him my phone. Basically reiterating what he had hinted to me an hour earlier, all of those emotions flooded back. Even Soh's insistence that Kevin's text was "great," did not allow those feelings to subside.

Embracing me, he offered me his shoulder. In that instance, I could not imagine another person who I would rather be leaning on. 

"Cry it out, Lu," he rubbed my back. 

"Thank you, Soh. I love you so much."

"I love you too," he responded. 

Once I collected myself and wiped away a few tears, I expressed my thankfulness for our friendship. He is truly an impeccable friend. Dropping me off at my car, we exchanged a "see you later," understanding that distance would do us no harm.

Waking up Saturday morning, I felt much better than the night prior. Since my dad has been out of town the past week and my sister had school, my mom and I grabbed lunch next to the train station. She insisted upon helping me get my things onto the train, and kissed me goodbye. Climbing the stairs, I situated myself at a nice window seat. Although bittersweet, while swaying along the tracks, I gained some peace. I grasped that I wasn't sad about my situation with Kevin (he told me that he is into me for crying out loud), rather, it was the fact that we are forced to put things on hold. Redirecting my mental focus, I am beginning to move my thoughts to the many fun experiences waiting for me this year. Bring it!