Parents Always Know Best

I consider time to be the most valuable thing in my life. There is nothing worse than the feeling that I am wasting or mismanaging mine. I haven't always taken this into huge consideration, but as I get older, I continue to realize how important it is for me to spend my time doing things I care about. 

That being said, my plans for this weekend changed drastically in the past few days. I was originally going to move into my apartment permanently this weekend to give myself about two weeks to settle in before school starts. My parents and I had somewhere to be again this weekend, relatively close to my school. So I was going to finish moving my things in on Friday, spend the weekend with my parents, and be on my way this afternoon.

However, my parents sounded bummed when I let them know that this was the plan I had thought up. They were hoping I would take the train at a later date, to spend this coming week at home. Feeling guilty, this was on my mind a lot last weekend. 

Last weekend, Kevin and I were texting and I mentioned this predicament to him. 

"Parents always know best," (paired with a cute emoji) was his response. 

I wouldn't say that I stayed for him, but I definitely took him into consideration, along with the fact that I'm going to miss my family. For whatever reason, even after hanging out once, I sensed that I needed to feel things out with Kevin. Who knows what will happen in the grand scheme of things, but I'll never know if I don't give it a chance. (Being away from home clearly gave me way too much time to overthink my current situation.)

Yesterday afternoon, I had a meeting for this program I'll be involved in this year. My mom dropped me off after hanging out with them all day, and with their schedule (my dad had something quasi work-related), they decided to have her pick me up  early this morning. 

One of my roommates, Rachel, and I grabbed dinner together in town. 

"Honestly, Lu, you've just got to let things play out how they do."

Laughing because I completely agreed, I said, "I know! It's just so hard. To be honest, I'm scared." 

"What scares you?"

"I keep trying to squash any expectations I have, but it's really difficult. I'm afraid of getting hurt, and I'm also afraid of hurting him. I have no idea what he wants, and I am being just as cryptic to protect myself."

I have a pretty bad track record with guys I have been serious with. My two high school relationships ended with me breaking their hearts when I retreated emotionally. I really hate hurting people, and I'm afraid of falling into the same pattern over and over again. Not saying that it will happen, but who knows how Kevin feels about me, and if I even decide I want to pursue him further. 

Once we finished eating, we met a friend at that night's soccer game. Even though I'll be happy at home this coming week, I am getting so excited to be going to games and events again! 

Our night was pretty relaxed; we just went to Rachel's friends' house. They had "Miss Congeniality" on, so I was obviously enjoying myself (turn down for what?). Once they decided to get late night nachos, my pending abs and I called it a night and finished unpacking. 

Taking a look around my room, I became really excited for the year to come. 

And... I'm also really excited to hang out with Kevin on Tuesday. Thursday night, he dropped me off after a great date. Giving me a kiss, he said goodnight. "I have class all day on Monday, so I'll see you Tuesday?"

Ugh that had felt like an eternity away. If this felt bad then who knows how I'll feel when I leave for good. "Yeah, that sounds nice, goodnight," I smiled. 

"Okay, I'll text you tomorrow! Goodnight!"

Our night had been pretty eventful to say the least. Kevin decided to pick me up around 7:30. We had planned to poke around Laguna, then go to a spot called the top of the world, that looks over a huge amount of the coast. As we were driving from my house, Kevin asked, “Did you end up eating dinner?”

“Yeah, I just made some food. You did right?”

He looked over at me, “No I wasn't that hungry. Are you hungry?” I had a little bit of room, but this was not going to be good for my diet. “I was thinking we could get Sprinkles.”

Sprinkles makes the best cupcakes, so I was unfortunately hooked. Thankfully, they're located even further north than Laguna so the drive keeps me away. I laughed, “Oh my goodness, I love that place. But this is so not good for me.”

We, finally, decided to split a coconut and red velvet after staring at cupcakes for almost ten minutes. They were absolutely delicious so I knew I had to refrain from eating a whole one. Once we were done eating, he got up to throw away our trash. Instinctively, I stood up as well.

“We aren't in a rush,” he told me with a smile.

We continued telling stories from a field study to Baja Mexico that we both went on our respective senior years of high school. Eventually, I mentioned I could go to the bathroom.

“Hmm, okay let's find you a bathroom!”

We got in the car, and he even opened my door for me. “Thank you, sorry to make you drive around.”

“Don't worry about it at all,” he reassured me.

We tried a few gas stations, but found no luck. “That's one thing that our country needs to work on. It's even worse in Europe. You'll walk into a place and have to order a $10 water just to use the bathroom,” he shared with me.

I really like how well travelled he is, and that he's really smart. I wouldn't consider him a genius but he knows his shit for sure.

I ended up going into a restaurant, which I always feel bad about, but I really had to pee. Getting back into the car, Kevin's hand gravitated back to the home it had made above my knee. Moments like these made me miss having a significant other. I listened to him sing along to his playlist, as he tapped along to the beat on my leg. After a bit, he grabbed my hand, and I couldn't help but grin. Little things he does like that make me feel like he does in fact like me as more than a fuck buddy. He could be a master player but I hope not and kind of doubt it at this point.

Once we got to the top of the world, we were in awe at the view. Unfortunately, there were a ton of other people there, so there wasn't much privacy. We started kissing anyways, and things naturally got heated.

“It's not very private up here.” I had to put that out in the open, because I was in the mood for a good time.

“Well we can always strip down and do it right here.” That sense of humor made the fact that we had no where to go kind of amusing. 

After a big group of people pulled up, we hopped in the truck he was driving tonight. His car died the other day, so he's been driving a slew of vehicles. Unfortunately the truck had zero room.

We improvised by stopping by his house to get a sleeping bag and towels. Settling on the huge grassy hill above one of our local beaches, we rushed over there to find that the sprinklers had just gone off.

“The world is working against us, I swear!” I couldn't help but laugh that something was stopping every plan we had.

“We are gonna make this happen, don't worry,” Kevin reassured me. “Let's walk over to the golf course!”

Holding hands, we took a leisurely stroll over to a golf course down the beach trail. The grass on the putting green wasn't very damp so we set our towels down. Realizing that there were sprinklers on not too far away, we waited a few minutes to be safe.

I looked up at him, smirking. “Um, I think we're alright.”

“I was just about to say the same thing.” He kissed me with urgency, even though we were both grinning.

Covering ourselves with the unzipped sleeping bag, we shed our clothing faster than polar bears in the Sahara. Once we were bare, he flipped me onto my back and went down on me. It was fantastic. I returned the favor, but after a bit he pulled me up.

“Do you want top or bottom?” Ugh that smile. I'm going to miss that.

“Top,” I giggled. He seemed to be enjoying himself as I rode him. He flipped me after a bit. Glittering the sky, the stars were absolutely stunning. I wish I could have enjoyed them more but I couldn't keep my eyes open for very long.

Playful Kevin was definitely out this time around. “Wanna do doggie?”

“Hell yeah!” I was clearly having a blast.

Once we were done, my arms gave out from underneath me, sending me to the ground.

“Haha what is up with you?” he inquired. I was giggling like a kid in a candy shop, and I probably sounded like a crazy person.

“Mmmm,” I purred.

A few moments later, I felt a slight mist on my naked back and noticed the sound of falling water.

“Oh shit,” I screamed. “The sprinklers!”

We were literally cracking up, frantically searching for any clothing we could find strewn around. With clothes half on, we gathered our things and moved them further from the spray.

“Oh my gosh, this is great!” he exclaimed.

“I don't know how but our timing was actually perfect.” For once it was, and I was stoked.

Once we were packed up, we began our walk back, his arm over my shoulders.

Kevin broke the short silence, “That was definitely one to remember. I think that was some of the best sex ever.”

“It was pretty great,” I replied.

“The stars were so gorgeous. When you were on top, I zoned out so hard.”

He was right. It was awesome. The stars illuminated an otherwise dark sky, and we could hear the waves crashing, without the sand (because no one likes sandy private parts... and I am speaking from personal experience, it sucks).

It was basically one of the best "dates" that I have ever been on. Despite all of my fears, I'm trying really hard to let go and live a little bit. Even if things don't work out, at least I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and making some hilarious memories!