Don't Come In My Room

"Kevin still hasn't texted me... actually wtf," I messaged Jordan from my computer at 4:30pm last Monday afternoon. Nerves were facilitating my impatience, but I didn't care. I was starting to get really ticked off. 

When I came back from the bathroom, I had two texts waiting for me: one that read, "Actually, Kevin sucks lol" from Jordan, and another that read, "Hey luuuu" from the infamous. Well its about time, I thought. 

Kevin and I sorted out the logistics of when and where we would meet up, and decided upon going to eat at The Habit a little before 6. I wasn't sure what would be happening after that (I was really kidding myself if I didn't think that we were coming to my place but whatever) so I straightened up my room and the living room. 

I biked over there, and he was already sitting at an outside table. Once I locked my bike, I made my way over to Kevin, who was smiling at me. He brought me in for a hug and let me know that he had already ordered. In line, I decided to get a turkey burger wrapped in lettuce and a side of sweet potato fries. My mouth is watering in remembrance of how delicious they were. 

"So how have you been?" Kevin asked, "It's been a while."

"Yeah, I can't believe that I have been up here for so long already. Things have been really nice, I think you know already but I joined *insert house name here* and have been doing a lot with surf team so I've been busy. Which is good I guess," then semi-awkwardly laughed, peering up at him. "How about you?"

"Oh you know... The same sort of deal at home," he responded, "Except I was just up in Seattle visiting my sister over the weekend."

We proceeded to catch up on all of these new aspects of our lives. While I really wanted to break my guard down, I couldn't get myself to fully release my fears and doubts. More than anything, I wish that I could pretend that I don't have feelings like some Beyonce-esque demigod of confidence and perfection. Trying my hardest to channel that inner power once Kevin and I were done eating, I decided that I'd invite him over if he wanted to keep hanging out. 

"So what are you doing tonight?" he asked as we tossed our empty plates. 

"Well, classes are cancelled tomorrow, so I might go out tonight." 

"Really? That explains why everyone is already drinking at Brian's frat..." he laughed, "I thought that people were just partying on a random Monday."

Laughing along with him, "Some people do, but its normally not this crazy, I swear."

Realizing that we were both going out, he said that we should meet up. And here I was, thinking that he just wanted to eat, bang, and bail on me to go party. 

All the lights were off when I led Kevin through the door of my apartment. I texted Bitta and Rachel, letting them know that Kevin and I were at home as a warning. Thankfully (otherwise something super awkward could have happened), Bitta popped out of their room and said hi to us. I secretly wanted to christen the living room with some super hot wall sex but I guess that wasn't in the cards Monday night. 

Kevin and I were chit chatting on the couch, and I maintained my distance, leaving the ball in his court to make the first move. Kevin turned over and began kissing me (damn I missed those lips) and I gave in like he had baked me chocolate chip cookies. It took about five minutes for me to utter, "Lets go to my room."

Smiling up at me, he agreed. 

Bitta knew not "to come in my room" and was skyping her boyfriend anyways, so Kevin was fair game to pounce onto. 

Immediately after I shut the door behind us, we began undressing each other so naturally, I was extremely turned on. 

"Sorry my bed is so small," I laughed at my twin xl. 

"I'm sure that we can make it work," he joked along with me.

As if I needed any confirmation of my talent, Kevin's subtle moans were reassurance that yes, I am bomb at giving blow jobs. After a few minutes, Kevin uttered twice, "I've missed you." To be honest, I'm not sure what exactly he meant by that but at least it was a compliment, so I'm not complaining. I was content with going down on him because I could tell that he was enjoying it, but all of a sudden, he pulled me off and flipped me over. Then, I was definitely not complaining. 

I think I've made this comment before, but Kevin should teach a class on how to go down on a woman. I was enjoying myself so much, that between moans I whispered, "I want you so badly." Thankfully, that got our show on the road. 

Mid-doggie (totally my favorite), Kevin gently started pulling my hair, and I really appreciated that our sex is becoming more comfortable (and as a result, kinkier). Once we finished, I flopped face first onto my bed. I was so relaxed from being relieved of a month's worth of sexual frustration. So good to be done with that. 

He hung out for a little in my bed (to be respectful I'm assuming #nailandbail) then got dressed and let me know that he would inform me as to where he and his friend, Brian, would be at later in the night. 

In the meantime after he departed, I asked Ali and Steph what they were doing. 

Ali texted back, "I'm at Zete, come." Steph said that she was coming over. 

We never met up with Kevin, although I had been texting him all night. I probably could have gone to the party that he was at early on, but felt awkward crashing, so I abstained. He mentioned that he wanted to see me before he left the next day anyways, therefore I didn't see it as a big deal to do my own thing. 

Right as I was slipping on my running shoes the next morning, I received a text from Kevin, "Hey lu :)" What a perfect distraction from my run! Meeting him outside of my complex, Kevin picked me up on his way back from his meeting with the coach. We drove to the beach (to save time) and walked a few miles on the sand. 

"So, how'd your meeting go?" I asked him with an eager smile. I knew that he had been nervous about the logistics of his transfer, but he was in a good mood, so I knew that it had gone well.

"Really good. I'm not sure exactly when I'll be starting classes or moving up, but my application has already been pushed through. I'll definitely be in classes in the spring, so I can either move up during winter quarter or before spring quarter."

This was really good news! Regardless of whatever happens between us, I'm genuinely happy for him because this is such a great opportunity. 

We walked for a while, and made our way back to the car. Kevin got out to hug me goodbye, and wouldn't stop kissing me all over my cheeks and forehead. 

"Are you coming home for Thanksgiving?" he asked.

I let him know that I'll be home Wednesday to Sunday that week.

"Oh, awesome! Let me know when you get back and we can meet up or do something," he smiled. His excitement to seeing me next reminded me that I need to stop bitching about the way that things are going between him and I. That isn't to sweep the notion of him not wanting a relationship under the rug, but at least it is obvious (I just can't seem to accept it, can I?) that he respects me and likes me as a person. 

However, I've realized that I have been going into this situation all wrong. Kevin and I have a ton of fun when we are together, but I've literally seen him for a total of about four hours in the span of over a month. And let me tell you, I have met a lot of cuties up here and have blown off so many opportunities to hook up with said cuties. I don't want to slut it up at all, but if Kevin doesn't want us to be exclusive, then I'm going to take advantage of that. 

When Jordan, Bitta and I (and who could ever ignore Garrison's peanut gallery) discussed Kevin's visit on Wednesday evening, we came to the conclusion that it would be unfair of me to restrict myself from any other guys. 

"So I'll just answer your question before you ask. No, you should not feel bad at all if you go for Mikey or anyone else," Jordan reassured me. 

If I wasn't single before, I'm definitely going to act like I'm single now!